Wednesday, April 30, 2008

French Fries & Friends

I'm so thankful for the beautiful friends God has given me. Amazing people that I can eat French fries with. Maggie, Beth, and I worked out at the gym last night, and then shared a meal at a particular fast food joint. Great combination, huh? Exercise and trans fats. Oh well, a few French fries won't hurt you.

Up until a few months ago, I haven't really had the energy to truly pursue deep friendships. Relationships require a lot of time and energy, and I had pretty much isolated myself into my little apartment. Emotionally, I had isolated myself from the rest of the world and even from myself. I was floating through life, completely disconnected from real truth and genuine joy. Nothing mattered. I never laughed. I never cried. Anxiety was the only feeling that churned in my stomach.

God has blessed me with many faithful companions. A new part of my soul has opened up because the acceptance of friendship. I tend to be very reserved with expressing myself. Even when I felt joy or peace I kept it to myself because of paralyzing shame. It has been so long since I've laughed until my face hurt, or been able to chat about silly things. Everything has always been so serious.

Thank you friends. Thank you for giving me the courage to be real. It is awesome to have a bounce in my step, and freedom to sing.

1 comment:

Genevra (Jenni) Vanhoozer said...

god is so crazy good. that's basically what he taught me this year, how to live in community. it's very messy and hard but so good.