Monday, October 6, 2008

Fill Me Up

I love morning. Everything is quiet, even my thoughts.

Well, my thoughts are always there, but at this time of day they still have a dream-like quality to them.

God shows me the most amazing things in the morning. Things I normally don't hear because my thoughts are so loud, almost paralyzing at times.

This morning I noticed a chip in my coffee cup. A piece was broken from the rim, but still capable of holding coffee. This is kind of a symbol of how Jesus views us. We come to Him chipped and broken and just plain messed up, but He still promises to fill us up.

If we come empty God has the opportunity to fill us to overflowing.

The problem for me is emptying myself of myself and allowing God to fill me up. I hold onto every emotion, every hurt, every fear and stuff it into my cup. My entire being gets so full that I have a hard time just being. Being open to God's truth, being accepting of God's grace, being willing to love.

All of my own junk, the sludge of pain and pride and perfectionism, crowd my soul. The Holy Spirit has a difficult time settling there because these other things get in the way.

But I do have a choice. I can let the tragedy of fear keep me from experiencing the complete character of Jesus, or I can offer up my weakness to Him. Surrender fully, without limits, letting go of this struggle I have let define me.

In our brokenness, God love remains consistent. He sees the darkest part of our heart and still pursues us with a relentless love. He never ever turns His back on us. Wow.

...and to know the love of Christ
that surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled with the
fullness of God.
~Eph. 3:19

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