Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Abyss of Concentration

Geez, louise...sometimes I get so engrossed with whatever I'm doing(algebra, contemplating glacier retreat, drawing, painting, wrapping gifts, organizing fabric, etc, etc, etc) that I have a hard time coming out of it. Most of the time I am quite distracted when I sit down to do something, but sometimes I get these random bursts of focus where I sit for hours hunched over a stack of papers. Often when this happens, I don't utter a single peep for hours. If my concentration is broken by my roommate coming to talk to me, or the phone ringing, or whatever, its like I don't remember how to speak. Jumbled, choppy words are all I can muster up.

My mind goes into this weird daze, almost like the concentration was so deep that I lost touch with reality (not in a creepy, psychotic way). I forget that anything outside my little pile of books and paper even exists and my social skills go down the drain(again, not in a completely insane way). I forget to eat, I forget to hydrate myself, and I end-up with a odd pains because I'm doing all of this intense concentration sitting on my knees, basically curled up in a little ball. Who knows, maybe I think better that way?

Anyways, enough rambling, but seriously I need to find balance. I mean, deep concentration is a good thing, but you still have to retain the ability to have a somewhat coherent conversation with another human being. I'm trying not complain here, I just never realized how much of a trance I can get myself into. I'm thankful for these gifts of motivation and bursts of creativity, but I have to remember to not get lost in it.

The abyss of concentration can suck you in, which isn't always a bad thing, but I tend to do everything in extremes. Once I'm there, I have a hard time coming back out. But I'm working on finding balance in all areas of my life, coherency between the passion and precaution.

God is patient. (nuf, said?)

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